Making friends when you’ve moved abroad is one of the most important ways you can settle and feel comfortable in your new surroundings.
Having a supportive group of people you can be yourself around or call for help and advice is very important to each and every one of us—even if we consider ourselves introverted. It’s surprising what a simple chat over a cup of coffee can do for our mental health and day-to-day wellbeing.
As an adult, however, making friends takes time—and a considerable amount more effort than when we were in the school playground. Add in a new environment, new culture and language barrier and things can become more difficult.
This is how my husband and I made friends when we first move to Portgual.
Reach out to neighbours
Some of the first people you meet when you move are your nearest neighbours. In some countries, it’s common to introduce yourself as the new neighbour. In others, neighbours may wish to introduce themselves to you with a baked gift or jar of coffee.
We knocked the door of the neighbours across the hall within the first few days. First, to introduce ourselves and second, to apologize for any noise from building furniture and settling in.
If you live in a building, you’ll pass by many of your neighbours in the corridors and on the stairs. A simple “hello” in the native language will soon make further acquaintances, which may lead to friendships. There are now have places to go if we run out of sugar (or was the case for one of our neighbours, for eyeliner for a Halloween costume).
Join Facebook groups for expats or special interests
There are a huge number of groups on Facebook for immigrants and expats from around the world. It’s easy to join one and begin conversations. There’s one here in Lisbon for social and cultural events, where the idea is to attend events and make friends. These pages will often be other foreigners, so you’ll find shared experiences and a shared language in many cases.
We joined a group called Vegans in Lisbon. One day, I asked if there were any local meet-ups for going to vegan restaurants together and I was instantly invited to the most wonderful WhatsApp group. It’s been over a year now, and we regularly meet for meals with other like-minded vegans. The group includes Portuguese people and other expats from around the world, many of which have become close friends. We’ve even become friends with some of the owners of the vegan restaurants we frequent on a regular basis. If conversation happens, follow it and see where it leads.
Join a book club
In most areas, you’ll find that someone is hosting a book club. I found one via the Girl Gone International (GGI) Lisbon Group. I joined for the book-club and found out that they also host numerous other events, from meals to holidays. You’ll find a Girl Gone International in most cities around the world. It’s huge.
Our book club meets monthly. I confess to not going on a regular basis, but I made friends from the very first time I attended. And even in chats on the Facebook group for GGI, I very quickly arranged to meet for coffee with two lovely women.
Accept invitations to social events
Once you have some friends, you’ll get invited to things that they’re doing. Birthday parties are one of the best invites to receive here in Portugal—and a guaranteed way to meet more friendly faces.
Download the Meetup app
Last but not least, there's Meetup. A very easy place to start, you’ll find events all over the world where people with common interests gather. In our case, we looked for board game meetups that were taking place locally.
We arrived to a very friendly group of people—many regulars—and quickly joined in playing games we’d never played before.
While it may seem like the list above is for extroverts, I can assure you I am not one. Take things slowly and at your own pace. Pick out the person in a larger group who you seem to have a more natural “flow” with in conversation. Most importantly, be yourself—it’s the best place for a new friendship to begin.
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